"I never know what cultural allusions will fly over people's heads, and which ones they'll get."
- Dr. Naylor, explaining why he is a Ph. D in computer science

"Wait - I think I can almost do it!"
- student during a class discussion
"Highly unlikely as I am about to prove it is impossible."
- Dr. Richards

"If n = 6, then n + 1 is of course... ... ... anyone?"
- Dr. Richards

"What you have to remember is, when the topic is the Israel/Palestine conflict, essentially all of what I'm going to tell you is a gross over-simplification."
- Prof. Lowrance

"The way you maximize profits is, you minimize costs!"
- Dr. Sabarwal

"Remember, it doesn't take knowledge to talk, only a few vocal chords."
- Prof. Downing

"This was the guy who changed everything. He wrote the 95 Theses - which among other things challenged the Church's insistence in the authority of the Pope; he married a nun - the practice of clerical marriage was, and still is, to this day, strictly forbidden in the Catholic Church! He translated the Bible from the academic's language, Latin, into the people's language, German - and in effect destroyed the Church's monopoly on disseminating the Word. And so you can kind of see why the Catholics were getting pissed at him..."
- Dr. Kamil

"And when I say that chemists have trouble with mathematics, I don't mean that they can't integrate or solve differential equations; I mean they have trouble with operations like addition and subtraction."
- Dr. Coker

"As you can clearly see I have drawn a confusing jumble of lines, circles, vectors, and equations. To any normal person it is absolutely unintelligible. Yet the similarity between this and what most of you write on my tests is stunning."
- Dr. Coker

"You probably learned this from your calculus professor. Well, your calculus professor is a queer."
- Dr. Coker